There’s nothing quite like the delicious guilty pleasure of rooting for a villain.
From Freddy to Jason to the seemingly unkillable Chucky doll, sometimes we just want the bad guy to get the upper hand on their victim, no matter how evil or sadistic the bad guy in question may be. But, somehow, when it comes to the evil ladies in cinema, most people tend to feel a resounding need to see them taken down…I am not one of those people. For me, the hallmark of a great horror villain, male or female, is my nearly overwhelming need to see them cut a swath through a 10 mile area and get off scot free.
Oh I won’t deny some villainesses do some way way fucked up shit in the movies, but some others are just so delightfully bad, you just NEED to seem them win. So in the spirit of counting down to my very very favorite holiday, here are 10 ladies (in no order whatsoever) so wicked, we just can’t help but love ’em.
Lola – The Loved Ones (2009)
Can you say bat shit cray-cray? Cause I’m pretty sure the term was invented to describe the deeply disturbed antagonist of The Loved Ones, Lola. Portrayed by Aussie actress Robin McLeavy with the type of gleeful perfection horror legends are made of, Lola is a deranged daddy’s girl with a princess complex and one HELL of an issue with the word “No”.
When High School hottie Brent (Xaview Samuel) rejects Lola’s invitation to the school dance, the young beauty goes to some sliiiiiight extremes to make sure Brent ends up as her date after all…mainly having her daddy kidnap the poor boy and forcing him to endure a date night that involves fried chicken, physical abuse, drano and a rather uncomfortable drill to the head.
And yet…at no moment do we not wanna see Lola get her way. Despite her obvious maniacal insanity, McLeavy’s Lola is so unapologetically wicked and so fucking mesmerizing that part of me wanted to see Brent get dumped into the basement reject pile just so I could watch Lola and her Daddy (John Brumpton, giving a whole new meaning to the term “enabling parent”) do it all over again with a new victim.
If you’ve never experienced The Loved Ones for yourself do so now, right now…no really, I’ll wait.
Tiffany – Bride of Chucky (1998)
The casting of Jennifer Tilley in the third sequel of the stagnating Child’s Play series can only accurately be described as pure horror-comedy genius. An often underestimated actress, Tilley was exactly the breath of fresh air the franchise needed (lord knows it wasn’t Katherine Heigl) and the character of Tiffany was a wonderfully wicked foil for the newly (and repeatedly) resurrected killer doll Chucky.
Although deeply devoted to her former flame Charles Lee Ray, Tiffany is no meek female unaware of her lovers murderous proclivities, but is in fact a cold-hearted and often inventive killer who matches Chucky pound for pound and kill for kill.
Even killing her and transferring her spirit into a pretty (brunette) bride doll does nothing to keep Tiff down, and after she peroxides her doll hair and gives herself a titty tat, she’s ready for a blood drenched road trip filled with murder, mayhem and marriage.
Tiffany, the killer doll, is definitely one badass chick to root for…even if she never does get to kick Katherine Heigl’s ass.
Barbara – Sexy Killer, Morirás Por Ella (2008)
In this little known Spanish import, attractive university student Barbara (Macarena Gómez) embarks on a bloody and largely unexplained murder spree on and around campus while easily evading the hapless local police.
Barbara kills pretty much whoever takes her fancy, reserving her bloodiest kills for those she deems tacky or for those who generally get on her nerves. She murders indiscriminately and never for one moment does she show any form of remorse, and it’s this selfsame maniacal ruthlessness that makes Barbara so easy to root for. She’s a crazy bitch who enjoys the suffering of others and the movie itself is oftentimes just plain ludicrous, but Gómez’s portrayal of Barbara is so gleefully shameless and so wickedly fun that you’ll find yourself going merrily along for the ride.
There is a whole zombie bit in the last third of Sexy Killer that makes very little (if any) sense, but that doesn’t negate the straight up crazy awesomeness of the lead villainess, so this is one Killer definitely worth checking out.
Baby Firefly – House of 1000 Corpses/ The Devil’s Rejects (2003 & 2005)
Blonde, beautiful and as fucking crazy as the day is long, Sheri Moon Zombie’s iconic Baby Firefly is one of those villains that seems simultaneously sweet as pie and evil as fuck, and hell if that ain’t a huge part of Baby’s appeal.
Merciless and bloodthirsty, the only female Firefly sibling is a crazed, unpredictably erratic force to be reckoned with. She’s as maniacal and she is lovely to look at, and despite being surrounded by some of the deadliest killer crazies ever to grace the silver screen, Baby is no shrinking violet and is every bit as stone cold and deadly dangerous as her male siblings.
Now it’s no secret that Sheri Moon is not the greatest actress, but she is undeniably charismatic and portrays Baby with wild kinetic energy and such balls to the wall fervor that it’s nearly impossible to keep your eyes off of her when she’s on screen.
Admit it, no matter who Baby Firely set her sights on or who she was chasing down to kill, not for one second did you hope her intended victim would get away, and let’s face it, as badass as this baby was, there was no chance of escape anyway.
Sadie – Scorned (2013)
AnnaLynne McCord is one those actress I never thought much of the first few times I saw her, she seemed too pretty, too vapid and very much like the type of actress that would play the attractive, bitchy girl until her youth faded…and then she’d play the attractive, bitchy cougar.
I am not ashamed to say that I was very, very wrong.
Anyone who has experienced the utter perfection of McCord’s performance in the 2012 film Excision, knows that this girl can definitely act her ass off, and that same charisma is very present in Scorned. Although, admittedly, this movie as a whole is inferior to the previous one, but I just can’t bring myself to think of Excision’s Pauline as a villain.
But no matter, McCord is at her crazed best as Sadie, a deeply unhinged young woman who, upon discovering that her boyfriend (Billy Zane) has scorned her with her best friend (Viva Bianca), loses her very tenuous grip on sanity and unleashes her own brand of twisted justice on the pair.
Revenge is a tricky business, but Sadie attacks the task with gusto and her wrath is so deliciously inventive (eyeball electro-shock anyone?) that I could barely wait to see what she’d think of next. McCord doesn’t disappoint and her charm makes Sadie one to root for, even when one of her victims aaaaallllmmoooost gets away we feel nothing but relief when the poor hapless soul gets mowed down by a truck seconds before Sadie can get into any trouble. Now if that’s not a sign of a kickass villain, I don’t know what is.
Angela – Sleepaway Camp Series
Ahh Sleepaway Camp; in my humble opinion one of the most fun to watch horror series of all time, thanks in no small part to one of the most badass horror chicks to grace the silver screen, Angela Baker.
Now I know Felissa Rose was the original Angela, but to be fair no one knew she was the villain until the stellar ending of part one and the first one was a much more serious movie than the follow ups…
Now Pamela Springsteen from the two subsequent sequels portrayed Angela as an always smiling, hyper-positive, bloodthirsty psycho that made us laugh even as she was making us cringe with her inventive and often hilarious killer antics. Now who wouldn’t root for someone like that?
It probably helped that nearly everyone around Angela was an asshole of the first order, so watching Angela dispatch of dirty old horny camp owners, rude slutty teens or over-achieving rich douchebags, was beyond fun. No one ever wanted Angela to get caught, why would we, aside being a homicidal nutcase, she was usually just the awesomest character and such a delight to watch, they could have made a sequel a year and I doubt she would have been any less enjoyable.
Springsteen attacked the role with an earnest, wholeheartedly sweet insanity and as such it isn’t with dread that we watch Angela go to town on her victims, but with relish.
Muriel – Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
This….is a terrible movie…BUT despite it’s many many shortcomings, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters does boast one awesomely evil Grand High Witch among its ranks, Muriel portrayed by the lovely Famke Janssen.
It may only be because every other character in this movie is as dull as a bucket of beige paint, but Janssen brings Muriel to life with such delicious, over-the-top wickedness, that watching her baddie spar with the white hats is the most (only) entertaining part of this movie.
Now I may be a little biased, as a child I always rooted for the wicked witches or evil queens in storybooks and I have soft spot for an old school fairy tale (although the modern vernacular and modernizing of the classic story was a real turn off for me here), so the unapologetically evil Muriel is my kind of witch. She’s undeniably evil, seeing as she kidnapping and planning to devour young children, but she is so fucking fabulous that it’s really hard to hate her for it.
Of course, Hollywood being what it is, we know from the start that she won’t be kicking H & G’s asses (much), no matter how badass awesome her character is. Still, Janssen delivers a fun fairy tale baddie that is so perfectly over the top wicked, you’ll wish the movie was less about the kids and more about the witch.
Lemme know what you thought of the ladies horror fans, and as always give a girl some love and click that Like button 😉