Housebound (2014)…the Latest Offering on the Remake Chopping Block

New Zealand horror comedy Housebound was without a doubt one of 2014’s very best horror films according to yours truly and many a horror movie outlet, so I suppose it was only a matter of time before a remake was in the works.


No, wait, scratch that. This is a brand new fucking movie, but according to The Hollywood Reporter, New Line has picked up this film, not for distribution mind you, but for remaking. How does this make any sense, to anyone…anywhere? Here is a great, completed film with stellar reviews, that is ready and waiting to be widely distributed to the North American market, why remake it? A language barrier might have been an explanation, but the frikin movie is already in English…I don’t understand!

Wouldn’t it make a lot more sense to remake bad movies? You know, take a real stinker like Leprechaun: Origins or Nurse 3D and try to improve that inexcusable shit rather than…well, doing the EXACT fucking opposite. What’s next, a Babadook remake starring Cameron Diaz and a talking monkey or Starry Eyes remade with Miley Cyrus at the helm or perhaps even What We Do in the Shadows remade with the Wayans guys (no that would not be fucking funny)?

This. Is. Bullshit.

I’m beginning to actually believe that Hollywood really IS out of ideas and the only thing awaiting the viewing public is more of the same old shit. Admit it, the only originality that’s left seems to be on television or fucking Netflix shows, and any time some manages to slip into a (usually foreign) movie some asshole remakes it.

If a movie is already perfect (and Housebound really is), there should be no reason to remake it, regardless of origin. Why is that not a movie making rule?


I know it’s just entertainment and in the grand scheme of things this isn’t really of any tangible importance, but seeing as how so many of us spend our down time watching/talking about/reading about movies, shouldn’t the studios make more of an effort to pump out better quality material, rather than insulting our intelligence by trying to spoon feed us sub-par regurgitated crap?

I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t think I’m gonna swallow any more of that. So there may be a Housebound remake in the works, but I for one straight up refuse to watch IT or any more like IT…how’s that for emphasis!

Here’s the trailer for Housebound horror fans, and if you haven’t already seen this fucking awesome flick, you need to be doing that, like now.

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