Sequels are always kinda touch and go, some are good, some are great, some, like this one, are the cinematic equivalent of eating week old fried chicken…nasty, unsatisfying and guaranteed to make you wish you’d never tried it in the first place.
It’s not like The Haunting of Molly Hartley, arguably one of the very worst films of 2008, really needed a sequel, but needed or not, here it is and it is definitely a worthy successor to the original. Of course, by worthy successor I mean that The Exorcism of Molly Hartley is just as bad, if not worse than its predecessor.
Caution: I’m about to spoil this wretched crap!
In this version, Molly (who you may recall was possessed, body and soul, by the devil at the end of the original) is a successful 24 year old who wakes up on the morning after a impromptu three-way, only to discover that she may have killed her bed partners. Fast-forward about a minute and a half later, and Ms. Molly (Sarah Lind replacing Haley Bennett from the original) is a walking, talking possession cliché, complete with projectile vomiting and scaly skin.
For some inexplicable reason, Molly is committed to a regular asylum (criminally insane anyone?) and shockingly (this is sarcarsm!) the asylum is also the current residence of a young priest named Father John Barrow (Devon Sawa). Father Barrow is, of course, the only remaining trained exorcist on earth, and was committed after he stupidly released a possessed, pregnant woman from her bonds during an exorcism, which resulted in getting both her and the other priest in attendance killed.
Side Note: What The Fuck man, why has no one in these possession movies EVER seen The Exorcist? Also wouldn’t the Vatican, or whatever other religious entity trains these idiots teach them the basics? Demons lie…this is not news, this is not surprising, so why does every shitty, demon related movie contain characters with the mental capacity of a turnip and the complete inability to understand the concept that evil things lie.
Ahem, so Molly moves in to the nuthouse and begins to hear voices and see signs of evil and blah blah blah, which all culminate in the discovery that Molly has NOT been possessed by the devil, but has rather been…wait for it…impregnated with him…
No. wait, it gets better…
Not only is Molly pregnant with the devil, but the gestation period for her demonic pregnancy is six years, six months and six days…
Ummm, ok then.
But no worries Ms. Molly, Father Barrow is coming to your rescue with a mechanical Christian music box and the full blessings of the in house psychiatrist. After about 8 minutes of Latin prayers, Father Barrow’s magic box sucks a bunch of flies out of Molly and the possession is no more.
But WAIT, what’s this totally unexpected plot twist I see ahead? Father Barrow’s mentor, the elderly Chaplain Henry Davies. whom Barrow goes to for help post exorcism (with the music box in a bucket full of holy water) is actually one of the bad guys? Now that IS original…oh wait, no it isn’t. The older priest if fucking always one of the bad guys, and it may have been surprising in John Carpenter’s Vampires but it isn’t even remotely unexpected here.
Make no mistake, this movie is nowhere near as amusing as I’m making out to be, the script is bland and trite, the acting indescribably awful and the movie as a whole takes itself far too seriously to even be considered “so bad it’s good”. To be frank, there is very little reason, if any, to subject yourselves to the dreadfulness that is The Exorcism of Molly Hartley, a movie which is, in this lady’s opinion, one of the very very worst films of 2015.
Lemme know what you thought of this flick horror fans, and as always, be a peach and click that Like button 😉