Martyrs (2015)…A Pale Imitation of a Startling Original

Martyrs…it’s one hell of a messed up cinematic experience. Any way you slice or dice it, the story of two young women whose quest for vengeance leads them into the clutches of a depraved group of people trying to create modern day martyrs, is one of those epic mind fuck flicks that will stay with you for a vast eternity, … Keep Reading…

The Forest (2016)…A Messy Ghost Story That Quickly Loses its Way

Aokigahara, the vast green sea of trees that surrounds the northwest base of Mount Fuji is, at the very least, a location ripe with cinematic possibilities. Dubbed the suicide forest, Aokigahara is Japan’s most popular spot for ending one’s life and is tragically the site of some 100 suicides per year. Oh yeah, the movie didn’t make that up, it’s … Keep Reading…

The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015)…A Straight Up Evil Sequel (and Not in a Good Way)

Sequels are always kinda touch and go, some are good, some are great, some, like this one, are the cinematic equivalent of eating week old fried chicken…nasty, unsatisfying and guaranteed to make you wish you’d never tried it in the first place. It’s not like The Haunting of Molly Hartley, arguably one of the very worst films of 2008, really needed … Keep Reading…

Knock Knock (2015)…Do Yourselves a Favor & Just DON’T Answer

Sigh… Really Keanu Reeves, really? After everything we’ve been through, after the unbelievable, badass awesomeness that was John Wick, THIS is what you’ve got for me now? Sigh…I’m so totally disillusioned right now. Alright, here goes, the short fucking version…Keanu plays Evan, a supposedly devoted husband and father who, while home alone, lets in two stranded, beautiful women (Lorenza Izzo … Keep Reading…

The Drownsman (2014)…So Bad I Can’t Even Think of a Blurb!

I love horror movies. Love them truly, madly, deeply and more than anything, I love them so obsessively that I barely watch anything else. Unfortunately, many people still consider horror a lowbrow genre made up of weak plots, shitty effects and worse performances; this, of course, is completely incorrect. Anyone who has experienced the utter perfection of horror masterpieces like The Exorcist, Rosemary’s … Keep Reading…

The Boy Next Door (2015)…A Bland Mess from Start to Finish

Hmmm…. Ummm…okay, here goes nothing. Although obviously meant to be an edgy, modern thriller about the dangers of obsession (and sleeping with teenage boys), The Boy Next Door is really nothing more than a showcase of Jennifer Lopez’s charms (which are admittedly plentiful) in a variety of flattering outfits and in varying states of undress…so in that aspect this movie is very … Keep Reading…

Felicia’s Review: The Gallows (2015)

Over 20 years ago in a small town there was a high school play that left one student for dead on stage in front of a horrified audience. Now on the anniversary of the tragedy a new batch of students resurrect that very same play and perhaps something more sinister. Directed by Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing this is yet … Keep Reading…

The Lazarus Effect (2015)…An Uninspired Mess of a Movie

A few months back I featured The Lazarus Effect and two other movie trailers in a post suggesting that those three flicks looked pretty good and may have been worth some hype. Those movies were Clown (which was awesome), It Follows (which was way way awesome) and this piece of crap…oh well, at least I was right about the other … Keep Reading…

Horror Quickie: Eat (2014)

Eat, the first full length feature by writer/director Jimmy Weber, is a sick and grotesque little flick about a not so young actress Novella McClure (Meggie Maddock) who, perhaps due to lack of success or just plain mental instability, becomes obsessed with eating her own flesh. The concept is obviously inspired by the superior and surreal 2002 French film Dans … Keep Reading…

The Human Centipede 3: Final Sequence (2015)…Why Am I Watching This?

My first mistake of the evening, was finally giving in to my (inexplicable) urge to watch the third (and hopefully last) movie in the wildly popular Human Centipede series. My second mistake, was when I absentmindedly started munching on a Caramilk bar while I watched this unbelievably disgusting movie…consider this a PSA people, do NOT eat anything, especially chocolate while … Keep Reading…

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