Martyrs (2015)…A Pale Imitation of a Startling Original

Martyrs…it’s one hell of a messed up cinematic experience. Any way you slice or dice it, the story of two young women whose quest for vengeance leads them into the clutches of a depraved group of people trying to create modern day martyrs, is one of those epic mind fuck flicks that will stay with you for a vast eternity, … Keep Reading…

The Forest (2016)…A Messy Ghost Story That Quickly Loses its Way

Aokigahara, the vast green sea of trees that surrounds the northwest base of Mount Fuji is, at the very least, a location ripe with cinematic possibilities. Dubbed the suicide forest, Aokigahara is Japan’s most popular spot for ending one’s life and is tragically the site of some 100 suicides per year. Oh yeah, the movie didn’t make that up, it’s … Keep Reading…

Radcliffe and McAvoy Go Slumming in Victor Frankenstein (2015)

It’s always disappointing when great actors find themselves neck deep in terrible movies, mostly because history has shown that they can do SO much better. James McAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe, two of the most talented actors working today, have most definitely done better than this, so much better in fact, that I really can’t help but wonder why on earth … Keep Reading…

Pay the Ghost (2015)…Probably Not the Worst Film You’ll See This Year

Do you remember, way back in the 1990’s, when Nicolas Cage was hailed as one of the greatest living actors? Seems unlikely right now, I know, because if one were to measure his greatness by his last 30 or so films, I could only assume that his talents were grossly overestimated. Make no mistake, Cage’s performances in such classics as his … Keep Reading…

The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015)…A Straight Up Evil Sequel (and Not in a Good Way)

Sequels are always kinda touch and go, some are good, some are great, some, like this one, are the cinematic equivalent of eating week old fried chicken…nasty, unsatisfying and guaranteed to make you wish you’d never tried it in the first place. It’s not like The Haunting of Molly Hartley, arguably one of the very worst films of 2008, really needed … Keep Reading…

Knock Knock (2015)…Do Yourselves a Favor & Just DON’T Answer

Sigh… Really Keanu Reeves, really? After everything we’ve been through, after the unbelievable, badass awesomeness that was John Wick, THIS is what you’ve got for me now? Sigh…I’m so totally disillusioned right now. Alright, here goes, the short fucking version…Keanu plays Evan, a supposedly devoted husband and father who, while home alone, lets in two stranded, beautiful women (Lorenza Izzo … Keep Reading…

The Drownsman (2014)…So Bad I Can’t Even Think of a Blurb!

I love horror movies. Love them truly, madly, deeply and more than anything, I love them so obsessively that I barely watch anything else. Unfortunately, many people still consider horror a lowbrow genre made up of weak plots, shitty effects and worse performances; this, of course, is completely incorrect. Anyone who has experienced the utter perfection of horror masterpieces like The Exorcist, Rosemary’s … Keep Reading…

Tobe Hooper’s Djinn (2015)…Just Doesn’t Live Up to its Potential

You know what sucks? When a movie is sooooooo close to being good and then it just…isn’t. Director Tobe Hooper’s latest flick Djinn is one of those movies, and fuck if it isn’t a piss off…again. I mean COME ON, why does every movie about the djinn have to be a disappointment…obviously I mean every movie since Wishmaster. Sigh… The … Keep Reading…

The Boy Next Door (2015)…A Bland Mess from Start to Finish

Hmmm…. Ummm…okay, here goes nothing. Although obviously meant to be an edgy, modern thriller about the dangers of obsession (and sleeping with teenage boys), The Boy Next Door is really nothing more than a showcase of Jennifer Lopez’s charms (which are admittedly plentiful) in a variety of flattering outfits and in varying states of undress…so in that aspect this movie is very … Keep Reading…

Movie Night: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

The awesomest bit of trivia I’ve ever read about The Slumber Party Massacre, is that it was originally intended to be a parody of slasher horror films. But one viewing of this cheesy, bad-as-they-get cult classic shows that someone obviously didn’t get the memo and produced the script as a straight up horror film. Of course that doesn’t stop Slumber … Keep Reading…

Pin It on Pinterest

%d bloggers like this: